The cold and windy route home!

When I started this trip I had four destinations that I wanted to go to: St. Louis, Missouri, Huntsville, Texas, Loveland, Colorado, and San Francisco. I naively thought that I could be in St. Louis by day one, Texas by day two, Loveland by day four or so, then Cali by the end of the week. I thought I'd be on the road for two to three weeks tops.

It's been nearly two months since I started, and because I decided to take the northern states back that means its starting to get cold!

First hint of cold I experienced was in Oregon leaving Portland. I was heading north to a city in Washington called Spokane, which put me through the mountains. In addition to the cool mountain air, I got rained on for nearly the entire day. At first I thought that it might inspire some sympathy in the drivers but then I remembered that in any horror movie where the hitchhiker murders the family he's always standing in the rain...

I was stranded the first night, but luckily I made it far enough east to get out of the mountains and out of the rainy weather. I camped by the railroad, where it was surprisingly warm.

Fast forward to after Spokane. Billings, Montana is my new destination and it's an 8 hour drive away normally. I figured I could get stranded but I'd at least make it into Montana. Instead I made the least amount of progress I've made the during my whole trip. I got stuck in Kellogg, Idaho for the night

The trip to Kellogg was not particularly cold, but the morning that I tried to leave was. I believe the temperature was in the 40s, which wouldn't be so bad if I was out there for just a few minutes but I was stuck there for hours! After an hour and a half or so I walked to a local apparel store and bought an undershirt and gloves. Now I was in business! An off duty deputy gave me a ride out of town shortly after and the weather started to warm up.

By the time I made it into Montana the weather was improving. The sun came out a bit (forgot to mention it was cloudy) and the wind had died down. However I still had a long way to go. When I arrived in Butte Montana the sun was just starting to set. I ignored this (and my host in Billings) to watch the presidential debate at a truck stop! I had hot coffee and was able to enjoy Obama make a total ass of Romney in the comfort of a soft recliner chair in the truckers lounge!

It was close to 9pm when I left to give hitchin another go. When I stepped outside it was FREEZING! Literally, it was 37 degrees before the windchill and the wind was brutal. Even with my undershirt and gloves, I wasn't equipped for this. I got a motel for the night and watched CNN replay on a constant loop Obama's classic "could you say that a little louder, Candy?"

I slept in the next day, then went back out there. It was even colder during the day, 36 degrees plus more brutal winds. I had to hold onto my hat to keep it from flying away. Luck was on my side this time and I got a ride in 10 minutes.

Actually I got a ride in less than two minutes but he was going on another highway.

I rode with Larry, a very interesting man who recently divorced his wife after she "started menopause and went apeshit crazy." Larry was cool. He was the kind of guy who would leave for Guatemala for six months with a total stranger just to take his mind off the divorce. The ride that should've taken three and a half hours ended up taking closer to six for a few reasons.

First, Larry drove slow. He liked to take pictures of the scenery while he drove and he did so every time he saw something cool, or every 10 minutes. Also he needed to stop at a specific Wal Mart to pick up a power converter which he ordered in, but when we arrived there had been a gas leak and the store was evacuated. We waited 30 minutes for the fire department to work that out, then had customer service issues at Wal Mart for another thirty minutes...

Couple hours later a fan belt blew in the camper that we were riding in. Larry spent an hour fixing it, braving cold weather and strong winds to do it.

"I could've had it fixed in thirty minutes but my hands went fucking numb!"

Finally, we arrived in Billings where I was able to eat toasty Eggo waffles for dinner and run a load of laundry at my CouchSurfing host's house.

If all goes according to plan, which I don't expect it will, I will be back at my grandma's house in Minnesota in two days.

Oh, and I got fucking hailed on in Idaho for like, thirty seconds... Forgot about that.

Anyway, this trip is winding down for me but by no means getting less interesting in it's final days.

Hope this didn't sound too complainy. I heard some good advice from one of my drivers which was one word: "bitch."

"Bitch...you mean complain?"

"yeah, 'cause if you don't bitch then you'll bottle it up and let it all out one day by fucking beating someone up."

In all honesty the cold ain't that bad, and in a strange way I take pleasure in taking this hitchin thang to the next level. At least I have access to motels and hot coffee and whatnot. I hope none of the beat generation kids got caught in the cold all night...

From Billings, signing out.

Here's a dog with a party hat on his head.